My boyfriend is having a friend over and he is just such a trash-talking misogynist, he’s driven me out of the party! I can’t listen to him for another second. He seriously just talked about how he forced a virgin into anal and I think I puked a bit. I’m…
call him out what a douchepillow!
Knit one row a day for a year, matching the yarn color to the color of the sky that day.
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl.
She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.
YO I made some paper today and documented it to hopefully guide some of you folks into making paper for the first time.
(it’s so easy !)
Some extra notes about the ‘Things you’ll need’ list:
You can buy a paper-making mesh and frame at many arts/hobby stores. The one I am using in these images isn’t a favourite tbh. I had owned a previous one that was much sturdier ~ instead of a loose mesh and a back plastic thing, my previous one had two wooden frames (one with mesh attached and one to place on top). I suggest getting one of those if you can.
You are also better off using a shitty blender - not the same one you use for food - in case you end up getting too experimental (side note, don’t try to blend cotton balls. It messes the mechanism up!)
*Rip up pieces of paper to place in the blender. The more the better ! Try mixing different colours, papers with text, blank paper, wrapping paper ~ experiment and have fun :o)
*Pour some water in until all of the paper bits are covered.
*Blend it! I find that sometimes it is best to blend in short spurts. Blend until it turns to mush.
*Pour the mixture in the tub (which should have been filled with water before you begin)
*Mix it up with your hands (it feels nice!!)
*Now is the time to put extra bits that you may not have wanted to blend up. Things like : flower petals, sequins, paper confetti, ripped up cotton balls, sparkles etc.
*Next, put your mesh together (meaning frame on top, mesh underneath it and plastic on the bottom) Hold it together tightly!
*Place it in the water and gently move it around. Get a small wave pool going ~ try and get as much or as little onto the frame as you like. Making paper as thin as a tissue is possible but it’s pretty difficult to get it to spread evenly! You can also make it very very thick - REMEMBER it will thin out in the next step.
(if you find that you are having trouble filling the entire mesh with pulp it probably means that you haven’t blended up enough paper or you could be moving the frame too fast)
*Once you have a good distribution, pull it up and hold it over the tub and let some water drip out ~~~~ Take off the top wooden frame.
*Get to your smooth/clean surface (I personally use a sheet of plexiglass) and gently but quickly flip the mesh/plastic tray over. Take the plastic piece off.
*Now take your shamwow thing ($1 at canadian tire!) or sponge equivalent and press it on the mesh (your paper pulp is beneath the mesh still) and take out as much water as possible!
*Take off the mesh screen. Let dry ~ This can take hours. When I am finished filling the plexiglass sheet with multiple papers, I prop up the plexi and place a fan in front of it.
*When the sheets are no longer wet or cold to the touch, and are easily peeled off your surface, you are done!
There you have it !!! Now you have made paper. OvO
I hope someone will find this useful. ♥
I haven’t made paper in ~forever~ but I’m feelin’ the itch so I’m reblogging this tutorial in case some of you are feeling it too ~~~
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
I always need this on my blog.
modern-day mother teresa
ok so what if Harry and Neville got into like this passive-aggressive lie-off regarding what a truly great man Severus Snape was like they got drunk and Harry was like ‘Snape though’ and Neville was like ‘I know right’ and Harry was like ‘what a… what a fantastic bastard. What a…